I was very pregnant and enjoying a moment of reprieve from my toddler, who still refused to sleep through the night. When I saw the skirt glittering on a rack, I remember thinking, this might be my only opportunity to buy one of these. And so I did. But then life happened—the birth of my second child and divorce petition signed, all within three days of each another—and I just never made it to the post office. So the skirt was forgotten, until one day a two-year-old Eli spied the edge of it hanging over the top of his dresser.
Sign up with Facebook or Google. Sometimes children cross dress because deep down they are really not happy about being the sex they My son wears skirts. Anna Fair says:. It was considered avant guard skirrs discuss such things as nature versus nurture. So far we've been the subject of a few snickers and whispered comments when the boys have worn their dresses weras public, though thankfully My son wears skirts been the only one who's noticed. I asked her to put on a t-shirt or a beach cover-up, and she did, but she was not happy with me. Since then, the tutu dresses make regular appearances in the boys' outfit selections. That's when I realized that, to my boys, putting wfars a dress is no different than putting on any of the other costumes in their dress-up bin.
Loi girls bbs. About raisingmyrainbow
Cross dressing is one of the cross gender behaviours that children may do.
- CC image courtesy of Flickr, Alex Proimos.
- Girls are outperforming boys at every level of education, Women are overtaking men in the workplace in both status and pay.
- In all honesty it makes me feel a little uneasy.
- The summer that year was a scorcher and amazingly it started in April—well okay, end of April, but May seared its way across the country bringing complaints from farmers about the lack of rain which would cause costs of food to rise; warnings from self appointed health experts about sun burn and subsequent skin cancer; and warnings from councils for elderly people to drink plenty and keep cool.
I was very pregnant and enjoying a moment of reprieve from my toddler, who still refused to sleep through the night.
When I saw the skirt glittering on a rack, I remember thinking, this might be my only opportunity to buy one of these. And so I did. But then life happened—the birth of my second child and divorce petition signed, all within three days of each another—and I just never made it to the post office. So the skirt was forgotten, until one day a two-year-old Eli spied the edge of it hanging over the top of his dresser. He immediately asked to put it on, and I helped him slide it over the waistband of his shorts.
Somehow, he intuitively knew to spin in circles, knew how to move in order to feel the skirt fluttering out around him. He wears it to birthday parties, to the grocery store, and around the house. He also currently has a fascination with girls. This past October, he pretended to be a little girl from his preschool for two weeks straight. Then, of course, he runs into his room and makes crashing noises as he pretends to demolish his monster trucks. Or he puts on his Batman cape and jumps around the room like a superhero.
Gender identity is a big part of this. For my son, gender is still very fluid, which—I would argue—is a healthy way of moving through the world. Girls are complimented on their hair instead of their intelligence. What a shame to limit our own experiences and those of our children. A couple of months ago, I received some negative feedback about the skirt from an adult whose opinion I care about.
Eli had started asking to wear the skirt to school and on visits with his dad, and I worried about being judged. One night, I stuffed the skirt in a drawer hoping that he might forget about it. But after 48 hours and countless demands for the skirt, I handed it back to him. He held the skirt out in front of him and giggled with unabashed delight. He then closed his eyes and pulled the skirt into a long, loving embrace.
I feel honored to watch my son feel free to be exactly who he is, navigating this space before social pressures ask him to conform. Debbie Weingarten is a freelance writer in Tucson, Arizona, and a Solo Mom to two little boys—ages three and one. Her work has appeared in Terrain. Look beyond a one-size-fits-all approach to shaping and guiding your chi Shaming your children can have lifelong negative consequences. Sign up with Facebook or Google. LOG IN. Image credit: Shutterstock. Send Close.
Stopped reading at that point. Whilst he had been trying on dresses, his sister had got one over on him and got rid of the only masculine clothes he had. Naturally, he inherits her skirts and dresses -- and sometimes he likes to put them on. He had been offered an admin assistant's job at Al La Mode, a male clothing company owned by his mother. I was only allowed to wear compression sports bras until I was 16 and demanded a real bra. I did not benefit from the State Scholarship - a County Major Grant would have been worth double the money and would have been given me at the start instead of half way through the first year!
My son wears skirts. Blog Archive
He loved it, put it on right there in the shop and slept it in that night. The next day we went to a party. He looked beautiful. We were walking back from the park when we saw a bike left out for someone to take a common occurrence round my end.
The next few days over and over he would go to look at it out of the back door. He asked to put his dolly in the baby seat at the back just like how mummy carries him on her bike and loved the hello kitty badge on the front. I mended it for him and then we took it for a spin at the local park. It was ballet. I figured it would be fun. On the way home from a friends party my son was sitting up front on the bus all alone, very proud of himself.
He looks like a girl. Years ago, or so the stories go, girls were similarly mocked for wearing trousers. Will we feel that way one day about boys in skirts? On the whole my son chooses things which feel nice to wear; soft trousers like leggings and joggers.
They, and their parents, assumed he was a girl. They had already clicked by the time they realised that. What reactions have you got from others? How do you handle it? Do you think it makes a difference if you are a solo parent and they only have one gender role model around the home? You can follow my blog on facebook.
And follow me on twitter EllamentalMama. Thank you for sharing! I remember when we were young parents grandparents now having the same conversations. It was considered avant guard to discuss such things as nature versus nurture.
The conversation went exactly along the same lines. If you see their underwear, is that really a problem? I remember being told to keep my legs clothes, while wearing tights, at age 3. Yikes I guess there was some body controlling there! My parents would critique me in anything, even going as far as to make me change or add a slip or other layers if they could see any pantylines.
My brothers also were given the authority to tell me I was being immodest about the time I turned I used to get generic underwear that might or might not be childish or girly depending on if we could ever find ones that FIT my larger body. I never got to wear pretty bras because my first bra was a C-cup yeah, my grandmother had to have a serious talk with my mom before she would agree to buy her year-old a bra, so it was long overdue and my mom bought the cheapest ones. I still wish I had a pretty.
Sorry, TMI. But nothing is so confidence-building as having pretty and color-coordinated underclothing on! I was not allowed to wear padded or underwired bras either. My tatas are now probably as floppy as they should have been at age 45 after 3 kids, thanks to not having the right support whilst they developed. I need a boob job. I was only allowed to wear compression sports bras until I was 16 and demanded a real bra. I want allowed to buy my own underwear and if I was present when my mom was buying them, we had to go to a female cashier.
I am a 24 year old married woman. I should be able to buy these things without being uncomfortable. You are commenting using your WordPress.
You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. Like this: Like Loading Warbler May 6, pm. Katie May 20, am.
Why I Let My Son Wear a Skirt | ESME
A while back I recognized a major flaw in my parenting. In letting C. J explore gender, I forgot to set the same boundaries for my feminine son that I would have set for a female child — especially when it comes to clothing, accessories and outward appearance.
I wrote about this revelation for Yahoo! I am not sure I fully agree with dress codes. Wow a good read! I love that you let your son explore. Right on. I myself am new to blogging. I would love if people would take the time and read my blog for I have no idea how to get people to. I think you have a lot of guts posting this outside your own blog where you have control over the comments.
I remember in your book when you made the point that while other people are entitled to their freedom of speech, you have no obligation to provide them a forum on your blog. When they show how their true ugliness, it will open up the minds of other people when they see it for what it is. Hatefulness towards an innocent child. Your son is so brave and at the same time so lucky for having parents that support him in every way.
Everyone should be free to make their own choices. I have a young son and i want him to make his own opinions and make his own choices. I wish you and your family a happy life :. Yes limits are important and with CJ being the only one wearing these things it does get a bit tricky. It would be tricky if you had a daughter too but not as much. I grew up with a brother and sister so the rules for me were the same as they were my sister. There was never a time when I thought it was because I was a boy.
I agree with how you handled this. They both complained and my son asked if it was because he is a boy. I assured him that if he wants to wear makeup after the age of 13 same as his sister then I will allow it. Until then, they are stuck with my rules. Your story reminded me of my high school days. I wore pants and shirts, dresses, skirts and blouses, shorts and t-shirts to school, but then preppy looks became a big thing again.
I think I gave my mom hives when I wore plaid Bermuda shorts with a D-ring belt, an oxford dress shirt with button down collar, and a bow tie to school. Oh, and Bass penny loafers. The shirt, shorts, and belt were all in shades of pink, and I loved the juxtaposition of traditionally masculine-shaped clothes with one of my favorite colors. To her credit my mom never said a word about that outfit. I was taught, and my parents modeled, reasonable boundaries for what was appropriate to wear in public and at home.
At the same time I felt I had room to explore the clothes that I felt comfortable wearing. I am so grateful for that. I think your sons will appreciate that you are giving them thoughtful boundaries. Now I have a teen son and a teen daughter. We had an interesting discussion while on vacation. My daughter planned to walk to a pool in just her swimsuit.
I asked her to put on a t-shirt or a beach cover-up, and she did, but she was not happy with me. My son walked out the door in just his swim trunks. The afternoon sun was very hot. Before we arrived at the pool my son had covered his head and torso with his over-sized pool towel and complained of feeling burnt by the sun.
My daughter smiled at me and said she was not bothered by the sun. She dislikes applying sunscreen. Fragrance can be a powerful style signature. And, maybe, is he inspired by his Nana? I hope so. This is the same for earrings. Having said that, we have bent our rules for him specifically because he is a boy. So while we do try and keep the rules consistent for our feminine son, we do recognize that the situation is slightly different due to the fact that he is a boy.
Nicola, It is great that your son is interested in fashion. You may want to consider that Barbie may give him some distorted ideas about the female form, relative to both fashion and other forms of female-body-appreciation. Fashion designers need to have realistic ideas about bodies and bodies of various sizes, various skin colors, various proportions, etc.
I just read your post on Yahoo and then read the comments. I am in shock. I am sickened and disgusted at how horribly judgmental and ignorant the majority of the respondents were. As the parent of a trans young man I forget how hateful people can be. Please know that I think your blog is a loving and heartfelt explanation of what true parenting should look like. And I know that if I had my anger would have gotten the better of me and I would have said some hateful things myself.
A young girl 7 next door had very high heels her dad had given her, and I tried to explain that they were great party shoes but lousy for playing and running and such. Yup — limits.
He may well end up as one of those people who spend 30 minutes in front of the mirror before leaving the house, but not just yet…. This is awesome! However, even with that being said, I do agree that there is a point where it really does become a concern of appropriateness.
I think you did the right thing with C. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email.
Raising My Rainbow. Skip to content. Like this: Like Loading About raisingmyrainbow RaisingMyRainbow. Bookmark the permalink. October 7, at pm. September 7, at pm. August 14, at pm. Ally says:. August 8, at pm. August 8, at am. JJ24 says:.
August 7, at pm. FranceGamble says:. August 5, at pm. Nicola says:. M says:. August 11, at am. Sara says:. August 5, at am. I wish only the best for you and yours. Gillian B says:. He may well end up as one of those people who spend 30 minutes in front of the mirror before leaving the house, but not just yet… P.
Anna Fair says:. August 4, at pm. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:.